Compare :

Yesterday...being in the office for the first time (!), vanilla latte and pumpkin bread, visiting used bookstores, hanging out on the roof, getting locked out on the roof and climbing down the fire escape to get back into the house through a window haha, watching Life in the Trees (!!!) and just being in a good place generally : )

Today...in class til 3, calling about a prescription, walking to the pharmacy to pick it up, having to wait 30 minutes so walking to a copy shop far away to pick up an expensive reader, walking right back to the pharmacy and having to wait another 10 minutes for the prescription to be filled, a nice half hour of reading in a used bookstore (at least there was one nice thing), walking back to the house, completely forgetting about the payment that was due today, freaking out and sliding the payment through the door slot, hoping it will get processed tomorrow, reading about grad schools and finding nothing that looks like what I want but starting to stress about the whole process all the same, now off to do a late-night dish shift and lock up. Oy.

Tuesday

Today was a very good day : ) Maybe later in the week I'll write about why.

Edit: That was my first office hour! I spent it sitting on the couch enjoying the feeling of being there, ready to help someone if they needed me. I still haven't seen any clients, but all the same it's nice knowing that you're able to.

So the knitting has been going slowly as of late, school is taking up pretty much all my time and when I'm not in class I've been reading textbooks/frantically trying to add units/freaking out about life in general/wishing it were next semester already. That last one is one of the hardest to deal with, as we're barely into this semester. Yeah. Um. I usually don't start my end-of-semester countdowns til we're at least halfway through, but this year I've started early. Only a little over 12 weeks to go! Slightly more than 3 months! Yeah...

Despite the almost-meltdown last week, things are going pretty well now. I just finished my first kitchen-dining room combo mop shift (yay!) with minimal pain and embarrassment (yay!!!) and had really tasty chicken for dinner haha. This past weekend, I went to SF to have lunch with Mom and afterwards had some absolutely incredible chocolate from Chocolate Heaven, some sort of milk chocolate marshmallow and a milk chocolate caramel marshmallow (seriously, so so good) and some milk chocolate fudge, just for good measure. It almost made everything better just from being so milk chocolate-y : )

[Here's the site, just in case you want to check it out! http://www.chocolateheaven.com/index.cfm]

And the peer counseling orientation yesterday was really fun, a very necessary reminder of everything that I do like about being here at school. I have my first office hour tomorrow (!) and I'm excited to see how that goes.

Sooo life generally is alright for the moment, hopefully it will continue to be so for at least a little while. I could definitely use a break from stressing out over every little thing. And tomorrow I begin something that could actually help a lot with everything that's been going, so things are definitely looking up!

So . . .

I guess I just need to get over it already, and let the not-so-fun moments here make me appreciate the good ones more. Right? Right.

Getting into the swing of things

I'm finally mostly settled here, classes are sorted out (with a preschool volunteer program for 2 units and SSPC for 1 unit to get up to the 13 required to be a full-time student) and I only have 3 real ones with outside work, I'm in my permanent room with my actual roommate and we seem to be getting along okay, and I have my permanent workshift schedule. Oy. It's actually not bad at all except for the hour and forty five minutes of mopping I get to do every Monday night...ugh. I might try and switch it with someone but I don't see that happening, no one will want it. Well! It's only 13 or 14 times, right?

It's sort of bizarre though, I've been thinking a lot about things that won't be happening for a very long time and it's hard not to wish that things were different right now. That's vague enough, no? There is specifically one thing that keeps coming to mind, but even aside from that with all the books I've been reading - stuff for my sociology class, all my knitting books, other blogs, anything - it's hard not to think about what I want the far-away future to be like.

Mostly the thoughts come from reading Knitting in America and The Second Shift. Knitting in America has the stories of a bunch of knitters all over America and how they got to be doing what they're doing, living on farms, designing knitwear in cities, running yarn shops, whatever they're up to, and I can't help thinking about what it would be like to do something similar. The Second Shift is for my sociology class and talks about how working parents of 2-job families (where both the mother and father work) deal with "the second shift" of caring for the house and child(ren). So I'm thinking about where I want to be living, what I want to be doing, and how I want to be living with the family I will hopefully be doing it all with, and it's all very different from the present...living in a co-op in Berkeley while I try to manage the two majors and squeeze in time to knit whenever I can. I guess it's just strange feeling priorities sort of shift or just be reconsidered at least and not exactly be completely in the moment anymore. The thing to do would be to try and accept that everything I'm thinking about will have to wait and just be where I am for now, but it's hard to stop once it's started.

Anyway hopefully I'll be able to show progress on the afghan soon, for now it's coming slowly. Very slowly. But I think I'm off to work on it now!

Maybe everything will be alright . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcpamvLB2JU